There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder.
Ronald Reagan

It’s that time of the year, where people often say they’re filled with wonder. They love this season, and all it implies.  It’s not just a silly event, it’s this month and it’s sense of the miraculous and the beautiful. Itcauses us to be filled with wonder.

Wonder is that “feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.”  It’s something we expect and want.  It’s almost like an emotional high.

And that’s a great thing!!  Our entire world is full of wonder.  However, the idea of wonder is far deeper than we could ever imagine.

Learning to wonder:

It turns out that the word “wonder” has dual meanings.  When used as a noun, it is that magical feeling when you find something amazing.  But when we use it as a verb, it’s a sense of curiousity that sends us on a journey towards a real curiousity.  It’s the desire to ask question

Psychologist Jeremy Sherman once noted that this was a similar nature.  He saw that the dual definition of “Wonder” gave the word a far deeper meaning:

Wonder is a contranym in that it means both the state of not seeking more answers and seeking more.  When wonder means awe, you have ample answers, so just appreciate in wonder.  When wonder means doubt, you need answers and are unsettled until you get them

In other words, we use wonder to discover answers, and to appreciate them.  We first ask a question in order to discover an answer, then we appreciate the value of that answer.

Isn’t that process curious?   Isn’t it wild?  How can we discover more wonder in our world?  The easiest way is to develop a sense of wonder is to wonder about something.

That phrase doesn’t make much sense.  It feels like an oxymoron.  Nevertheless it’s true.  However, think of verb “wonder” as another form of curiousity.    When we develop a strong sense of curiousity, we create a chance to enjoy the majesty and wonder of the world.

So, how can you take steps today to be more curious?

Ask More Questions.

 I believe that questions are the catalysts for discovery.  Through a great question, we open up opportunities for conversations, for explorations, and eventually for answers.  And it’s through those answers that we begin to understand the world around us.  Once we understand it, then we are in a perfect position for enjoying it’s true wonder.

What has inspired you in wonder recently?   Why was it wonderful?  

Everyone must explain something...

Have you ever walked into a room and had no idea what was being talked about?  The most recent occurance of this for me was a meeting that was covering some new technology for streaming a local church campus.   There was a representative of the company there, who was explaining the minute details of this new software to the campus leader, a few techies, and myself.   I listened intently to what the representative had to say.  But as I look back,  every other word that I heard felt irrelevant.  I didn’t know what they meant, or why they mattered. Thankfully,I understood enough web content that I could make out the stuff I needed to know to master the software.  However, I was lucky.  Even my own boss had very little idea what was being explained.  He tweeted me and said “Thanks for coming.  I barely understand this stuff myself”.

An Outsider to your ideas

Imagine that!  Your own boss being unable to understand intricate tech jargon that experts picked up easily!!  That’s not just an embarrassing position to be in, but it means that you’re in a weak position for fixing and using the tool. But the speaker is even more of a hassle.  By using unique lingo and terms, the speaker makes it harder to explain their ideas to students and laymen alike.

Science’s overdone details

Scientists are the worst with this.  Science magazinePhysics Today noted that:

Scientists typically fail to craft simple, clear messages and repeat them often. They commonly overdo the level of detail, and people can have difficulty sorting out what is important. In short, the more you say, the less they hear. And scientists tend to speak in code.We encourage them to speak in plain language and choose their words with care. Many words that seem perfectly normal to scientists are incomprehensible jargon to the wider world. And there are usually simpler substitutes.

But scientists are not the only ones.  Every field has terminology that it uses to exclusively describe their concepts.  You can find rule-breakers in this field everywhere, from politics to sociology to even car repair.

How to Communicate Clearly

That’s why experts need to learn how to explain things clearly.  If you can’t explain something in a way they understand, then they’ll look at you as though you are simply speaking another language. So, how do you speak clearly?  The best way is to rely on simplicity of speech.

Can you KISS it?

A KISS makes everything better

Simplicity of speech is just a variation on KISS (AKA Keep it simple, silly!) However, the easiest way to simplify something is to It requires that you understand how much you know, and how much the listener knows.  From there, you can explain something in a more effective state.

In order to find out what someone knows, you have to ask them smart questions.  Asking questions like “Have you ever heard of bowel movement?” are excellent catalysts for building a conversational bridge between you two.

Explaining it simply to large audiences

For some of us, we are going to have to explain something to a larger group.  That means that each person will have a different understanding of the topic.  So, how do you make your topic simple for all of them without talking down to them?

The easiest thing is to ask simple questions:  ”Who is my audience?” “Why are we meeting together?”  ”What is the goal of this meeting?” These questions will establish your understanding of what they understand.  And from there, you can explain a topic from whatever understanding level they are on.

Be wary of going too far

One of the important things to understand about communication is that it is a thin line.  You can over-complicate things, or you can talk down to them.  That’s why you must ask questions of your audience.

 If you do, you’ll not only be more understood, but people will come back to you for advice and ideas, and will consider you to be The Expert.   And that has all sorts of benefits

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Great Things are only possible with outrageous requests -Bea Alexander

Robert was walking across the parking lot to a church meeting when a young woman said, “Hey Robert.” Robert doesn’t instantly recognize her, so he walks away. Suddenly a large “Heeeyyyy!” rings out. Robert looks around and see her.

Robert’s trying to rremember who this woman is. “Can you remind me your name again?” She tells him, and he suddenly realizes how they met up, and connecting up on Facebook.

Like any day, Robert asks that fateful question; “How are you?” She gives the standard answer; fine. Robert thought Her answer doesn’t feel true. So, he inquires further. “How are you really doing?”

She responds with the truth, and it’s not easily digestible. It’s going to take a few minutes to unpack what is shared. In fact, Robert has to take a moment to shift his thoughts quickly in order to be thinking on the right level for his other meeting. But it makes Robert ask the simple question of “Is this how we should interact with others?”

There are two questions that we ask most people on a daily basis:

“How are you?”

and

“How can I help you?

These are innocent questions to ask on a daily basis. But we ask them because of common courtesy, not because we are interested in the other person. It’s more of an issue of common courtesy than an issue of relations. This is why I’ve always been working to interact with people on a deeper level.

It’s not easy. I’m naturally shy, and not one for running up to another and screaming “Hi, how are you?!?” However, questions are the easiest way to start something.

I mean, who doesn’t love to talk about themselves?

One of my best methods for interacting with others is finding a common ground, and interacting on that ground. It could just be an interest in his/her job, or even just being in the same location.

However, not all questions are made equal. Most questions we ask are simplistic and don’t encourage others to provide insight.

Penelope Trunk  (Founder of Brazen Careerist and popular blogger) had some interesting insights into asking questions:

Most of us didn’t learn that, though. Because it’s so hard to teach. I know it’s really hard to teach because people with Asperger Syndrome don’t understand how to ask a question…….Children with Asperger’s often have to learn when to use Why, What, and Where because they don’t know how to ask questions, even though they often have through-the-roof IQs. They actually seem mentally slow because they cannot learn as fast as other children due to the lack of good questions – which is a great illustration of how important asking questions is.

A great question is natural, and brings out more information then you could ever expect.  But how can one ask great questions?  

Over the last 7 months, I’ve had the chance to do a number of interviews with homeschool graduates. What has been great about this is that it’s allowed me to think through how we ask questions. And these interviews have been some of the best conversations I’ve had. Here’s the top three things I’ve learned through the process.

1. Have some general questions, as well as specific:  great general questions to ask include “how did you meet your spouse?”, “What led you to choose this career?”  and “What is a trait that you appreciate in friends/coworkers”?   But don’t be afraid of delving into their specialties. If they have expertise, then it’s likely that they enjoy expounding upon that, and teaching you.
2. Don’t ask “yes or no (y/n)” questions These questions are too easy to answer.  You get very little information from a “yes” or a “no”. That’s why focusing on open-ended questions is best.
3. “How” and “Why” questions are best  While any open-ended question can be an effective conversation starter, two of the best words to ask is “How” and “Why”.  How did you do that?  Why did you do it? How did everything work out?  These questions have a tendency of working out.  

No matter who you are, you have the ability to ask questions. They are the perfect catalyst for connecting with others and starting a great relationship. So, go ahead, ask away. What could happen?